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Femininity and Feminism

Cristina Thurlow


I hope to teach my daughter the difference between true femininity and feminism. One lifts up; the other one tears down. One offers a complement to masculinity; the other one competes with it. One fights and nurtures the most helpless lives; and one has championed the destruction of those same lives


A study showed that women's brains changed to have more empathy once they give birth to a child. To destroy that life must go against everything that women are made to be. Remarkably, the rallying battle cry of the feminism of our time is to have the “right” to destroy the most helpless life. Nothing in this world is more vulnerable than the unborn child. It is small wonder that those who carry the battle flag for such cruelty tear down and destroy everything around them. Once one crosses the line of killing human life, what else is left sacred? Have you noticed that the rhetoric of the pro-death movement aims at embittering others? The pro-death stance not only embraces the killing of innocents. The proponents of the pro-death philosophy push others to destroy life too. The self-destruction of it all is sad indeed.


I want so much more for my daughter. I know it is possible because I know women who have embraced their role in life to the fullest. They are gentle and kind, yet they are the strongest people I know. They are wives who want the best for their husbands and mothers who sacrifice so their children will know truth. They find joy, not in self-indulgence but through learning to care for their families and finding purpose in helping others. While they empathize with those they don’t agree with, they are strong enough to know that empathy and listening do not equal compromise. They know that relationship is valuable, and that human dignity is imprinted on every person--born and unborn. They are wise enough to know better than to embrace ideologies we know are wrong. And they are also wise enough to know that winning an argument without empathy is a hollow victory. 


Being a woman who embraces true femininity will not land my daughter public accolades or give her the recognition she would surely deserve, but it will give her an identity that is secure. She can rest in and rejoice in being the person God always meant her to be. If she is wise enough to surround herself with those who care for her very soul as much as their own, she will have lifelong friends and allies in the fight for life. And she will encounter momentary friends who share the same purpose and drive. If she chooses wisely, she will surround herself with others whose company will be uplifting, not destructive.


 I want my daughter to know that she has much to offer and does not have to rely on bawdy bar room talk to carry a conversation. I want her to know that matters of the soul carry deep and meaningful weight. I long for her to know that she can be witty without being crude. I want her to know that it is okay at times to not take herself too seriously. I want her to know that it is okay to let her inner joy come out. If she finds this in herself, she will recognize it in others and always have a support system. She will find that she has a host of sisters in the faith who love her and will encourage her to do better, even when they don’t agree with her.


I do not believe that a woman must be married or a biological mother to be truly and fully feminine. Every woman can cultivate her God-given femininity and the qualities true femininity yields. We need wise women around us who build others up and who always nurture and offer truthful insight to those around them. Recovering a biblical feminine identity can bring healing and hope to our society.  True femininity values and builds up others. True femininity embraces a God-given identity and can inspire others to greatness.